Never blame me for your circumstance. Your fall is your own doing. You swallowed Adam’s seed, you drank your poison. You desired suicide through carnal acts, and so you die. Death to your untouched state, agony to your throbbing lips. You could have been responsible, but as always, you’re weak and idiotic.

Fulfill your fleshy destiny, satisfy your lusty hunger, and drown, drunk in your bastard’s wine. Savor your pseudo-happiness with your sorry excuse for a man. Oh, how hilarious it is that you’ll be married to a guy like that. And I thought you had taste. Turns out, the only tastes you know are those of the fluids of shaggy-haired, lousy scoundrels.

Sure, walk around with your overinflated womb. Enjoy this phase of expecting because that’s the only time you’ll be happy. You may show off and be proud. They may be there and be happy for you. They’re ecstatic! But how about you? Would you be eternally happy, knowing that everything was not what you wanted?

You do know what happens to people involved in pregnancies unbound by marriage, don’t you? They never lift off. They get stuck prematurely into parenthood. Can you and your man raise a family? He’s a lousy bum playing computer games all day. And you’re just an office clerk taking calls from stupid trolls. Heck, you won’t even get to work, once your kid is out. What’re you ‘gonna do now?

I’m guessing you’ll continue to suck: Suck at being a glorified daughter, suck at being a parent, suck in your career, suck in life . . . and continue sucking an underdeveloped pork stick.

Don’t come crying into my pants. You won’t satisfy; you will never pleasure me. I don’t love you and I will never fall in love with you again. I pass my hatred to you, that I will move forward and be strong; whilst you remain in the dumps—perfectly where you belong. You dug your own grave, now lay there and allow me to bury you forever.

Credit: Scribe’s Express..

Ah, the night
The night I struggle with the beast in me
The beast that stops you from saying, Richard, don’t leave me;
Richard, you’re forgiven; Richard, I’ll give you another chance

It is hard when the yearning is getting stronger
and the probability is getting weaker
Gently hating myself, I understand
It hurts, that even it is hard, I will

Foolish, I once became
I must admit, I wasn’t that good enough
I was numb, I was callous, I was tough
I cheated, I erred, I lied

Rampage might flow in but I tried to control myself
Easy does it, and blow!

Perhaps you got tired
Of believing to a big fat ass of a liar again
Of living a promise, of keeping a relationship
We didn’t expect it to be this soon

What have I lost? Respect and trust
Where is my hope? Oh yeah, that’s gone too
And I will be a good boy, I am sure!

But I will miss you…
Your remorse over how you listen to my rants and nonsense blabs
Wrong notes as we sang the Lemon Tree
No one to hate, to argue with

I cried
Not because we’ve finally called it quits
I’m just thinking about the bills, I’ll go short
Empty call list, empty message inbox, empty nights

In this dark room, not just a lonely room
Seeking comfort, wearing not my mask
I thank you for being a person that you are
And for being such a special and important part of my life

I need you and I want you back. I am mustering what’s left of my pride to choke out these words because I have no right to implore for anything. It is wrong for me to ask for forgiveness or any form of absolution. I am stripped of everything when I took that wrong small step that caused you a big deal of pain. And for that no one should be blamed but me. It would be poetic justice for you to just loathe me for what I’ve done, and look me in the eye as you watch me slowly die in misery. I will leave you without harboring any trace of neither hate nor bitterness in my heart because you have given me the opposite. You have given me love, as sweet as any true love could be. And that what makes the separation much more unbearable. Because I fail to understand the reasons why I am able to give you hurts as much as I give you love.

There are people who believe in second chances, and those who don’t. I sincerely hope that you belong to those who do. Because if there’s still a sliver of chance, no matter how small it may be even to the point of almost impossibility, I’d still take it and bridge the struggles that I need to take for me to hold you in my arms again, facing new days with renewed faith and hope. I have betrayed your trust. And I don’t think there are right words to earn it back. But if you don’t believe and your door is already sealed shut, I will not barge it down. You deserve a safe haven free of lies and deceit, and selfish desires—a sanctuary where you can find healing from all the wounds I have inflicted upon you. I will not knock, but I’ll wait by your doorstep till you open the door and let me in, with nothing but a flower and a promise of always being there for you. But until that moment comes and we see each other somewhere in the future, I would look at you with joy and reminisce how we spent a night basking underneath the flickering lights of the stars.

I am sorry and I love you—I hope these words would fail to diminish the true essence of what I am trying to say. Because in my head and in my heart, these two things stretch as far as the heavens and I hope they would reach and kindle your heart and still find in it a special place for me to stay.

Ateneo 825 Buddies

This morning, about 1,000 new nurses from Davao City and nearby regions gathered at the CAP auditorium for an oathtaking ceremony. Due to a large number of oathtakers, PRC decided to split the populations into morning and afternoon sessions. Parents & spectators were not allowed to enter the hall in this solemn ceremony, of course PRC would not want all of us to fall down during the event due to our huge numbers.

Oath at CAP Auditorium

The oath taking was attended by Hon. Marco Antonio Sto. Tomas, one of the member of the Board of Nursing.

Somebody wanted me to kill. A noisy destruction as bombs exploding. I was surprised when I discovered how my mind worked over those things. I’m not going to say that it is right because it is really wrong. I’m not going to say that I didn’t like it because I did. I’m waiting for the consequences. I must admit, I’m afraid.

I can easily pretend to other people that it doesn’t bother me anymore but of course, at the end of the day, when I’m lying in bed, all them thoughts come to haunt me. I just couldn’t help me but think that if the situation we’re reversed, I wouldn’t want that to happen.

I learned one thing,

never start if you don’t have plans to finish…

Yesterday was a sort of thanksgiving party for me for having hurdled the recent Nursing Board exams. Already passing the board with the least number of passers in the history (only 30% passed) was itself a great blessing. So my family threw a supposedly small gathering for my thanksgiving party turned out to be a big and happy gathering. Friends, families, classmates from way before, neighbors and everyone else came to share with me and my family their Sunday. I was, to say the least overwhelmed with yesterday’s event.

Note: More photos soon…